I will never forget the day I was molested as a child. I will also never forget the day, only a few months ago, when I finally opened up about it and cried tears of release from the pain I was holding inside.
There's nothing more draining and painful than holding back anger, tears and frustration from the world. For many years I've wanted to scream, doubting if anyone would even care to respond to me. There were many days where I questioned outing my life, yet I always had an immovable faith within me which refused to let me give up. Even though I fought myself to keep going, I harbored an "I don't care what you think or say, I'm gonna do me" type of attitude, and it lasted for the majority of my teenage years.
My parents divorced when I was 16 and completely shattered my idea and hope of real love. Their arguments and physical fights always left me in the dark. I didn't want anything to do with their hateful behavior, especially since I was way too frightened to share what had happened to me, as well as the actions I had been taking to harbor my hidden emotions. I would think to myself at the time, "I would rather lay up next to somebody and feel wanted than to deal with the pain at home." I have been saying it for quite some time: I am not proud of the naive actions I took just to fulfill the void festering like an open sore. I cannot count the number of days where I could honestly look myself in the mirror and appreciate my curvature, my skin, or my hair. It has been the toughest battle I face everyday -- letting go, moving forward and loving myself unconditionally. Today I can say I am grateful for the struggles from all areas in my past, as well as the ongoing struggles that arise. They have been the ultimate teachings and helped draw me closer to being the best version of myself.
The only joy I ever felt during my earlier years was waking up every morning to go to school. I have always enjoyed learning for as long as I can remember; it has been my safe haven, my absolute happy place and the core of my being. I have always known that in order to elevate the mind, eliminate the hate and embrace the beauty of light, it starts with education. Now, in my journey, I have learned the first and most important step to a personal revolution and that is spiritual grounding.
I'm a proud DominiRican that has recently been discovering and questioning my family's background and history. I have been drawn to uncovering the truth about my heritage and racial background. The world has such a way of boxing people into categories and of building the most difficult barriers which seem almost impossible to overcome. This revolutionary thinker will not let anything stand in the way of her dreams. My dream is to help in the unification of the island of Ayiti, today Dominican Republic and Haiti.
I'm a believer of no dream is ever too big, and if your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough. "Nothing is ever impossible because 'I'm possible' is in the phrase."
'Cause I am a warrior woman. Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman. That's me.